i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
