we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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