I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
