i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
