whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
