it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
