But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
