What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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