On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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