Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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