maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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