i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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