i wish starbucks made bloody marys
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So vagazzling was a success
Pants are for mortals
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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