check it out our google latitudes are spooning
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
