carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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