so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
