Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
