Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
