In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
its not stalking. its research.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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