Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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