She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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