Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
