Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
