Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it glows. i had to have it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
