went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
