i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
