I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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