In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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