Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm at about main and main street
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
