I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
