i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
