Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize