so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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