How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
