Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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