physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
