im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
