I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
