I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i've created a new STD.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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