Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I have aggressive nipples.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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