so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize