He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
