Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
