im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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