K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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