I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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