so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
