Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
