Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
