Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
