Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
