Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
